Going Home

Today is a pretty simple day. There’s nothing monumental about this Friday. Anyone who looks at this day on the calendar would just glance over it. But to me, today is so much more. Today I go to my mom’s rehab facility, like I have been for the past month. But then when I leave, she is going home with me.

This summer has been, by far, the most trying time of my life. In addition to being in my first year of marriage, I had to balance time with my dad in a nursing home, my job, an internship, and the roller coaster of my mom’s health. Since the last week of May, I have learned a ton of information about heart defects and irregular rhythms. My mom went into the hospital on June 25th for a minimally invasive catheter heart procedure, and is finally going home today due to her complications.

But everything is a learning experience, and there are a few things I’ve learned this summer.

Asking for prayer is not a sign of weakness.

I don’t know when it happened. But sometime in college, I threw myself into a leadership position and altered my thinking to being “the strong one.” My job was to listen to the women who were placed in my care and to help them come up with spiritual solutions to their struggles. I took the concept of being a “servant leader” and completely ignored my need to share my hardships.

One of the things that I have been learning the past few months is that showing vulnerability can bring you blessings in ways that you would never see coming. During the end of June and through much of July, I was commuting and hour each day to visit my mom who was in ICU from her emergency open heart surgery. I was overwhelmed by calls, text, and messages of friends who wanted to help. I learned that this wasn’t a burden I had to carry alone–there were many friends who were there to help me.

One morning I walked into my office after being gone for a week or so and I found an envelope on my desk. A friend from college that I hadn’t kept up with much thought of me and sent me a card to my office. She took the time out to send me a message and it was a moment that I will be forever grateful for.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. – James 5:16

Marry someone who makes you feel strong.

One of the reasons I married Nick is that he’s good under pressure. That, and I tend to be a little emotional. Sometimes I tear up at commercials and I ALWAYS tear up at Grey’s Anatomy (But seriously, who didn’t cry when Denny died?!).

That being said, Nick has been my support through tough times more than once. He has held my hand, cried with me, held me up, and even told me to get it together when I needed it. His constant servant hood to assist me in anything I needed this summer was incredible and I would not have been able to survive it without him.

One of my favorite moments from this summer was when I took my dad to visit my mom at her rehab facility. My mom, who was tired and sore from therapy, instantly gained energy and was smiling from ear to hear to see him. It was a fantastic moment of true love and how the right person makes you stronger. They wheeled together in their chairs all over the facility!

Don’t hesitate to say “I love you.”

I’ve realized this summer that life can be taken in an instant. I have always known that tomorrow isn’t a promise, but I don’t think it was until I was sitting in a hospital waiting to see if my mom was going to live that it really sunk in. Nothing compares to the helplessness of not knowing if you can have one more hug or one more laugh. Our time together with the people we love is precious. Make sure they know that.

I have grown tremendously this summer. While it was a learning experience, I am also happy that this chapter is coming to a close. So with that being said, Mom: I love you, and welcome home.