I’ve cried a lot in the past four weeks. I’ve also been praying a lot too. Usually I do both at the same time. Nothing really brings me to my knees as much as being out of control in a critical situation. I don’t know if I have ever prayed so earnestly in my life.
This is one of the first times that I have prayed for something and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Many times when we are praying for an outcome, we can kind of “help” it along a little bit too. We can study a little bit harder, we can make a few more phone calls, or we can ask for a favor from a friend. Four weeks ago, I had to completely surrender myself to the Lord and to the people He has placed in charge of her care. It was something that made me feel helpless and alone.
I’ve always believed that God places the right people in your life that are uniquely qualified to help you through any situations you may face. It wasn’t just a coincidence that I began dating Nick the summer before my dad had to go into a nursing home. I married a man who lost his father in his teen years, while I struggle with my own father’s bad health. He is my rock and my support through these tough situations.
Moving Forward
Watching my mom’s recovery over the past few weeks have been an extremely difficult experience. I have had to completely put my faith in others to entrust them with her care. But as my time here increases, God has been showing me instance after instance of his control over the situation.
My mom’s first day here was one of the most painful days of my life. Nothing prepares you to see a parent on a hospital bed, swollen, and hooked up to a bajillion tubes. As I put up pictures in my mom’s room for her, a nurse came in to see me. Her name was Libby and she was in the EP lab while they were trying to save my mom’s life. She was the perfect person to come sit with me. Libby used to live in my hometown and she had the exact same procedure that my mom went in by the exact same doctor. She told me that she felt a personal connection to my mom because it easily could have been her on that bed. Libby was so much more than my mom’s nurse. She comforted me, answered all my questions, and most importantly prayed for me. God sent a woman of faith to be with me during one of my hardest moments and I will forever be grateful for her.
About a week ago, a nurse from the EP lab came to visit my mom. The nurse has come by several times before, but my mom wasn’t alert during her previous visits. This nurse came in, gave my mom a kiss on the forehead, and told her that it is a miracle that she is doing so well. Then, the nurse told us a story that was so incredible that it nearly brought me to tears. This nurse was in the procedure room next to my mom’s preparing another patient. This patient had a very hard time deciding on something, and because of his indecisiveness, the nurse was running 30-45 minutes late trying to get the proper consent form. This left the doctor who was performing that procedure waiting. During that waiting time was when the wire punctured my mom’s heart. Her chest was quickly filling with blood and her heart was arresting. By God’s excellent timing, this other doctor was not in his procedure and was able to come into my mom’s room and evacuate the blood in her chest. If he had not been there and available, there would have been no way that she would have survived.
Thankfulness
Day after day I am thankful for what God has shown me. He has taken a terrifying situation to show me the comfort of others. I have learned a lot, and especially that even when I feel like He isn’t with me, He is. Through the people he places around me. It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
I am thankful. Every day I am thankful.
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